How Did Victorian Fashion Show Grief Through Clothes?

Victorian fashion became notorious for its mourning etiquette, which included elaborate rituals, strict dressing rules, and clear social expectations. Partly, they were inspired by the mourning of Queen Victoria, who grieved over her husband for forty years. Victorian mourning had several stages of grief that were marked by the specific dress codes that regulated every detail of women’s costumes, from dresses to pins. Read on to learn more about Victorian fashion rules regarding death and mourning.

The Victorian period, which corresponded with the reign of the British Queen Victoria, lasted more than six decades. The Victorian era was diverse and aesthetically rich, yet it had one distinct element to it that profoundly marked most of it even outside of the British Empire. Mourning fashion and etiquette have existed (and still exist) for millennia, varying from culture to culture, yet in the Victorian-era West it reached its remarkable and sometimes absurd peak.

The trend for dedicated and complex mourning did not appear on its own but rather developed from Queen Victoria’s personal tragedy. In December 1861, the Queen’s beloved husband Prince Albert passed away from typhoid fever. The inconsolable Queen descended into a deep depression and went into mourning that lasted 40 years, until the day of her own death. For forty years, servants had to change bed linen in the deceased Prince‘s bedroom daily and leave him a jug of warm water to shave every morning. The Queen’s dedication to her dead husband was remarkable and inspired a trend for more complex and elaborate mourning rituals for families – or mostly, widows. The Victorian era funerary etiquette was phenomenal in its complexity, and in the discourse it provoked in society.

The Three Stages of Mourning: Deep Mourning and Its Rules

The Victorian mourning practice was usually divided into three (sometimes, four) stages, relating to the mourner’s relationship with the deceased and the amount of time that passed since their death. The most intense and highly regulated stage of deep mourning was reserved for widows. In most cases, the required mourning period lasted from one to two years, followed by the transition to lighter stages. From a deeply mourning widow, society expected an almost complete social isolation with no entertainment or recreational activities. The widow’s dress code was the

most rigid and regulated. No lustrous fabrics were allowed, so the widows wore dresses made from matte materials like wool or bombazine (a mix of wool and silk).

The only color allowed was black, with even pins, buckles, handkerchiefs, and stationery dyed to correspond to the widow’s status. Deep mourning costumes did not allow for trims, frills, or decorations, similarly prohibiting jewelry, hats, and excessive accessories. As headwear, widows were supposed to wear dark crepe veils, with some publications even specifying their length – from chest to ankles, depending on the source. The only acceptable headpiece was a bonnet, similarly black and matte.

The stage of ordinary mourning lumped together two possible aspects of it. The first mourning, reserved for one’s closest relatives like parents or children, was significantly more relaxed in comparison to the deep mourning stage. It allowed glossy silk, bows, frills, and ruches, although still sticking to total black. In winter months the mourning woman could wear flack fur to keep warm. Fashionable hats were still not an option though. However, this mourning stage introduced jewelry, but it had to be black as well.

The rules regarding the death of one’s distant relatives were much more liberal and allowed for more creative freedom. Heavy crepe veil was switched for a net or a tulle one, and white cuffs and collars added some liveliness to dresses. White shawls and straw bonnets adorned with black crepe flowers appeared in the mourner’s summer wardrobe. Usually, the ordinary mourning stage lasted about a year for close relatives and three to six months for distant ones.

Light Mourning

The final stage of mourning referred to the last stages of grief over someone close or to a very distant relative. Alternatively, it referred to a mourning woman invited to a wedding. Attending such a joyful ceremony in total black was considered rude and offensive. A person in light mourning could finally wear color, adding a palette of lead, violet, lavender, gray, and white to her costume. Cotton and cotton blends became acceptable again, as well as gold jewelry. Still, the bonnet had to be black, although decorated with beads and white and violet flowers.

Mourning jewelry was one of the most remarkable, exciting, and macabre elements of Victorian mourning fashion. Made from black and gold metals, it was often decorated with engraved inscriptions, enamel paintings, and inclusions that reflected the owner’s relationship with the deceased. Colors and materials were significant, too. White enamel referred to the death of a young unmarried woman, while pearls often signified a child’s passing.

Mourning jewelry often included hair as a decorative element or even a base material for a woven piece. Usually cut off before the burial, the hair of the deceased loved one served as a keepsake, an important reminder, and the final souvenir. These pieces reminded the grieving family of the inevitable death and the following reunion in the afterlife.

But What About Men?

As you have probably noticed, the elaborate rules of Victorian mourning etiquette mostly concerned dresses, bows, and bonnets – the feminine attire. But did Victorian men have something similar? Were they also expected to give up their normal lives and spend a year or two grieving over their losses? The short answers would be yes and no.

No matter how close the dead relative was, a man was expected to get back to his duties immediately after the funeral. The customary mourning period for a deceased wife did not exceed one year, although, of course, exceptions of grief-stricken husbands were abundant. Moreover, it was culturally encouraged for a widower to remarry as soon as possible so someone else could take care of his household and children from the previous marriage.

In terms of clothing, regulations for men were also much simpler. A humble black suit was an attire proper enough for most mourning-related occasions. In addition, men in Europe and the USA often wore a black crepe band on their hats, with its width corresponding to the closeness of their relationship with the deceased. Some men added black lapel buttons and black armbands, but generally, the rules for them were not as strict.

Let’s suppose that you are a Victorian widow who has recently lost her not-so-beloved alcoholic and abusive husband who left you in debt with several children. You cannot afford to buy a mourning wardrobe and, most likely, don’t even want to. Would this case allow you to skip the prescribed rituals and move on with your newly independent and busy life? Absolutely not.

In Victorian society, reputation was a social vehicle, especially within the middle and upper classes, which were the most concerned with rules and expectations. An improper attire could ruin one’s social chances once and for all, sometimes bringing up accusations of marriage infidelity, and even provoking unwanted inheritance claims. Everything, from funeral attire to stationery used by the widow in her mourning was strictly regulated. While rich widows could afford entire mourning wardrobes for each relative and each grieving stage, those of more modest income had to dye their regular clothes black, effectively leaving themselves in a state of permanent mourning.